1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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