whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
