Whatcha textin bout Willis?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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