He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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