You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
