You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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