Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
