It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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