Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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