So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
