You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
