Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
