And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
