margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
