i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
