I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
third nipple confirmed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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