i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
