FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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