Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Two words: nipple clamps
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