he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
