You just made me feel so damn special
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
