worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I feel like abortions should bother me more
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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