The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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