i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I supernannyed him into submission
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
