is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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