last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
