is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
