Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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