I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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