Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
