Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
