I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
