He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
