i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
