her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
