and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
