So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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