Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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