Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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