just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
