mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just gift wrapped bread.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
