I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and she was petting her beer can
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
