hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
