I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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