Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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