He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
They took my balls.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
