I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
