Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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