Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
