How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
