Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
