does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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