My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
