Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
