I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
